For some reason it's known around that world that even the most talented artists throughout time struggle with the sickness of self doubt. I'm hoping that one day scientists will find the secret ingredient to eradicate this ailment. I know I would take a pill if it existed. It seems as though this mental defect filters our interpretations in the worst way.
If a family member tells you how talented you are and keep on going, we might say to ourselves, "they have to say that, they're family". If it's a friend we just accept that they are being supportive of whatever we want to do. If it's a professional, we might shrug it off as "thanks for the compliments but where's the money. It's almost like we can't tell ourselves that we're on the right path until whatever idea we've put in our own mind that equals "success" happens.
When it starts to feel like the bottom's falling out and I can't make any headway, just about every person who's opinion I value tells me to keep on the course and that something huge is about to break loose. I can't say how much I appreciate that confidence and support. I can even say at times it's the only thing that separates me from being the guy who puts his gear in the closet and gets a job in a cubical. That is an extremely fine line most of the time.
I'm hoping that the next time I breach this subject I'll have the ability to say to anyone in my position to hang in there, keep going, and stay focused because you'll eventually get the break you're looking for. Until then, I'm trying to listen to the ones who can see the forest while I'm still in the trees. I know that my perspective is skewed and I'm not a fair judge of my own path.
What I know is that I love what I do... or at least attempting to do and the thought of doing anything different is more mind bending the the attempt to keep moving. Maybe I'm making all the right moves with just the right amount of momentum to manage. Unfortunately the Artists Doubtistitus illness gets a hold every once in a while putting a cog in the wheel of success.
If anyone has the right prescription I'm all ears.